Stop comparing yourself. It is not healthy! How many times did you hear that? And how many times did it actually work when someone told you that? Exactly! Zero!
Let’s be honest, you are not going to stop something that is programmed in your subconsciousness because someone advised you to do so. This is not how it works. For decades you have been compared to someone…
Where it all started
In your childhood, your parents were comparing you to your siblings or other children in order to manipulate you into good behaviour. In schools, you were constantly compared to other children, not only with your behaviour but also with your grades and achievement. Then in your adolescence, you were compared to how many likes someone else got for their picture, you were comping your own body image to somebody else.
Again, in college, once again your achievements, relationships, social life were compared. Later in life, your jobs and career were compared to somebody else’s, your marriage, home life, kids, you name it.
The thing is… where does somebody else’s comparison of you end and where did you start comparing yourself to other people? This is like a disease… at first, it spreads unseen, unnoticeable, innocently… then when it is well established in the foundation, it spreads on to other aspects of your life, before you know, it completely took over your life and you do nothing, but you live your life comparing it all the time to somebody else’s life.
The compound effectS OF COMPARING
It all might sound less dangerous than it actually is. However, this way of being has a tremendous effect on our existence. It takes away all good things. You can’t enjoy the little things anymore. You might feel like happiness is out of reach. Everything you do or have seems not good enough. You keep chasing things but not knowing exactly why or what exactly you are looking for. And most importantly, you are losing control of yourself and that makes you being very disconnected from yourself. From the real you.
When you are in such a state of limbo, you don’t feel alive. You feel like your life doesn’t belong to you. Existence and life itself confuse you. You don’t feel like you have a purpose, or you don’t know what you want anymore.
From the outside seems like you have nothing to complain about. From an outside perspective seems like you have this perfect life, not nothing is missing and you have ticked all the boxes… what an illusion!
Wake up moment
How much of that is worth if you feel empty inside? How much of that is meaningful if you don’t give it meaning? Everything that you have or achieved loses its purpose or value if you don’t see it as valuable or worthy.
You are the center of your life; you are giving meaning to things. Yes, you! You are this powerful, my dear! But if you don’t see it, if you feel disconnected from yourself and from your life then you won’t feel or see that power within you!
Things only make sense and are viewed as important in your life only when you want them to be important FOR YOU. You can’t pure water out of an empty cup… you know it. So why do you try to do it when comes to your life? We know why you are in the state you are, because of your past experience, but now you have the necessary awareness, you know the impact of this disease of comparison. The evidence is how you feel in your life, with yourself.
Where to start this new journey?
Simply, ask yourself: Do I really want my life to look like this? Do I really want to feel half alive? Do I really want such an unhappy life? And finally, do I still want to be the shadow of my potential?
If you answered “NO” to any of the above questions, you are home! You are back!
The next steps are, stopping yourself, but really stopping yourself. Do nothing. Sit with yourself, meditate, ask your higher self what is that you really want. What is that you really enjoy? What were or are your dreams? Ask yourself, if there were no limits, what would you do? What would your life look like? Where would you live? …
Recreate and rearrange your life in your mind first. Use your imagination. That’s where everything starts first. So, connect with yourself. Connect with your higher purpose. Connect who you really are, connect with THE SELF! Slow down, spend some time in nature, go outside. Pay attention to small things in your life. Pay attention to your everyday doings. But also, pay attention to what you want or need at that moment.
Let go of expectations, demands, judgment, and comparison… you don’t need it in your life. It doesn’t help you with anything. It only creates unnecessary, unhealthy illusions. Those negative things will make you believe that you are less and not good enough. It will make you feel small… you don’t need that in your life. Set yourself free from judgment, comparison and expectations! Say authentic with yourself, be real! Take action to make your dreams come true!
BE YOU! DO YOU! FELL YOU!
This never ends!
Once you are on the right path to your self-actualization, you won’t stop. Your self-awareness will not allow you to come back to where you were before. However, before that can happen you got to make this new “free you” your habitual way of thinking and being.
Just because it might sound simple, doesn’t mean it is going to be easy. This is not about having an easy life! It is about showing your character, it’s about being real and authentic with yourself. It’s about your determination and not quitting when things get too uncomfortable.
Life will test you, but that is okay, all you need to do is stay with your true self. Don’t give up, don’t give up on your dreams, and on your life. You can do it! Remember, you are powerful!
My own experience
As you might know, I have decided to make a few changes around my life and my work recently. I am changing the look of my website, and other social media platforms. I have new ideas and new projects that I have already been working on. As I am learning and growing, my confidence is growing. My business is growing, my practice is growing, and my love for my life is constantly growing… It all feels good and amazing, but also uncomfortable. Yes, you read it right… I said uncomfortable…
All of this is new to me. All of this is completely out of my comfort zone. And as I have decided to change a few things around, and as much as it was my very conscious decision to make those changes… somehow for a little while I got lost in the process… I lost myself for a second… I got confused and didn’t know where exactly I was going. It felt like I lost my vision for a while. And why did it happen?
Because I started to compare myself to other people. I started to compare my business and what I do to other people! Even though we had completely different professions… I started to make myself feel small. I started to feel like I am not good enough. For a second my ego took control and started to pull me back into my comfort zone! Bizarre right? Well… it’s real life!
As soon as I noticed what is happening, I stopped myself… I had this inner conversation with myself, I had to remind myself WHO AM I? And what DO I WANT? I reassured my ego that I am safe, I can do it, I can trust myself.
I reminded myself that I worked really hard to get where I am today. It’s years of my hard work! I have invested so much time and money into myself. I have invested in my knowledge, my personal development, into my career. And I am committed to what I do. I am committed to my vision and my purpose. Furthermore, I am committed to myself! I am… and that is more than enough!
As I was simply remaining myself of my purpose and my dreams, I felt myself growing again. My vision was back, I was back.
This experience alone was a nice life lesson.
Don’t ever self-doubt yourself! It’s a killer to your potential!
Don’t ever make yourself believe that you are not good enough! That is a lie!
Don’t ever compare yourself to others! Be loyal to yourself!
Don’t ever make yourself feel small. It is only an illusion!
Don’t ever put other people above yourself! We are all equal!
Know who you are! Be real with yourself! Self-love and self-acceptance are the cure for this twenty-first-century disease!