I want to share the story of a patient of mine, who has given me full consent to write about her journey. It’s a story that has stayed with me deeply—not just because of what she went through, but also because I know there are many others like her. People quietly falling through the cracks of a mental health system that’s meant to help them. Her experience clearly shows that real change is urgently needed.

How It Started

We met a few years ago. She came into my therapy room overwhelmed and exhausted, battling severe anxiety, insomnia, and depression. She felt completely disconnected from herself and didn’t know where to turn.

At that point, she had already been on medication for more than two years. Her GP had prescribed antidepressants and anti-anxiety tablets. But no one had recommended psychotherapy. That didn’t come up until nearly three years later—and even then, only briefly. By that time, she had already found her way to therapy and a psychiatrist on her own.

This is a pattern I see far too often. People are prescribed medication with no mention of talking therapy or emotional support. While medication can be part of recovery, it should not be the only tool offered.

Over the course of our work together, she made incredible progress. What stood out to me most was her determination, her courage, and her deep desire to get better. She never gave up. Week after week, she showed up with a willingness to face what was hurting her, to speak her truth, and to take responsibility for her healing. She was consistent and committed. Today, with my support, she is no longer taking any antidepressants—only Xanax remains, and even that is something she hopes to gradually reduce, when it can be done safely and with proper care.

The Struggles with Medication

One of the medications she was taking, as I mentioned earlier, was Xanax—a strong anti-anxiety drug known to be highly addictive. And like many people, she found it very difficult to come off it. She wanted to reduce the dosage and eventually stop, but no one in the medical system was helping her create a plan to do so safely.

Then one day, she ran short on her prescription. She went to her GP for help, but they refused to prescribe it, saying they had never approved that dose. She turned to her health insurance, and again was met with judgment and dismissal. At this point, she was experiencing withdrawal symptoms and ended up in the hospital emergency department.

What happened next is heartbreaking: instead of receiving help, she was judged. She told me that she was made to feel like a drug addict—looked down on, lectured, and not taken seriously, even though she had a letter from her psychiatrist explaining her current dosage and treatment. That letter was ignored.

She felt humiliated and re-traumatized. And the worst part? She didn’t put herself on this medication. It was prescribed by professionals. Yet when she needed support, the system turned its back on her.

Also, I want to highlight that many of the people I work with struggle not only with the effects of their trauma and medication, but also with the way they are spoken to by professionals. The tone, the dismissiveness, the coldness—it all adds up. When someone is in a vulnerable state, even a small look or word can feel like a punch. We need to remember that compassion is not an optional extra in mental health care—it’s the foundation. People don’t need to be “fixed.” They need to be understood, met where they are, and treated with respect.

We Can—and Must—Do Better

Sadly, I’ve heard stories like this from other patients too. The system too often leaves people on their own, managing powerful medications without support, without information, and without respect.

What’s even more concerning is the ongoing divide between different parts of the mental health system. Psychotherapists are still not always seen as legitimate voices in a person’s care, despite the close and consistent work we do with clients. I’ve had cases where mental health professionals dismiss psychotherapy altogether, or only suggest it as a last resort.

But the truth is, real healing often begins in the therapy room—when people feel heard, supported, and able to make sense of what they’ve been through. And this isn’t about who’s more important—doctors, psychiatrists, or therapists. We all have a role to play, and we’re meant to be working on the same team.

GPs and Therapists Need to Work Together

One of the biggest gaps I see is the lack of proper referral from GPs to trained therapists. Many GPs don’t have a reliable list of accredited psychotherapists to refer people to. Some may not even mention therapy as an option until years down the line.

That’s why I strongly recommend that people seek out therapists who are accredited by IACP (Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) or IAHIP (Irish Association of Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapy). These are the two national accrediting bodies in Ireland that uphold rigorous professional and ethical standards. I do not recommend training from any other body, as these two ensure therapists are well-trained, supervised, and held accountable.

Having a trusted referral pathway through GPs would make an enormous difference. It would mean people are guided toward safe, well-trained professionals from the start—not left to find help by themselves in moments of crisis.

The Need for Better Therapist Training Too

As therapists, we also have a responsibility to grow and improve. Not everyone who enters this field is ready for it, and there should be more checks—especially during training. I believe psychotherapy courses should include personality screening, to make sure the people training to become therapists are self-aware, grounded, and emotionally mature.

Therapists also need a better understanding of diagnosis. I’m not talking about rigid DSM or ICD-10 labels, which can be reductionist. I’m talking about clinical insight into personality patterns and emotional development, such as the kind found in psychodynamic psychiatry.

In my postgraduate training in trauma, we learned how to use diagnosis not to label people, but to help understand their suffering more clearly. Diagnosis can be a helpful starting point, not a final answer. But too often, therapists either avoid it completely or lean on it too heavily without real understanding.

When used well, diagnosis can guide the work, helping us understand how someone is structured emotionally. But diagnosis should never be used to define or limit someone—it’s only the beginning of understanding, not the end.

Real Change Is Possible

This story is more than just one woman’s experience. It’s a reflection of a system that too often forgets the person in the process. We can and must do better. So, we need to ask ourselves some tough questions:

• Why are people being medicated without being offered therapy?
• Why is it so hard to access help when you’re struggling with withdrawal?
• Why are psychotherapists still not seen as part of the core mental health team?
• And why aren’t GPs and therapists working together more closely?

We need an approach that sees the whole person—not just a diagnosis or a prescription. We need systems that support patients in a safe, respectful way. And we need to remove the ego, judgment, and fear that still exists in too many parts of our health services.

Mental health care is not just about medication or quick fixes—it’s about human connection, deep listening, and teamwork across disciplines. If we truly want to support people, we need to leave our egos at the door and come together.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all here for the same reason: to help people feel better, live fuller lives, and find hope again.

I want to end by thanking my patient for allowing me to share her story. You are the essence of courage. Your strength, honesty, and commitment to your healing continue to inspire me. I am so proud of you, and I’m truly grateful to walk alongside you on this journey.

With Love,