I will start with a question: have you ever wondered where your internalized message of “I am not good enough” comes from? Do you feel that you give life your best, for example: try hard, work hard, but still can’t give yourself credit? How often are you beating yourself up and thinking that somehow you should do more, be more, and be better? From my experience as a psychotherapist, the message of “not being good enough” usually comes from dysfunctional family dynamics, especially those of narcissistic and abusive families.
You are good enough
Usually, when you see or hear something like “Believe it and you can achieve it” it goes in one ear and out the other because you don’t feel it on a deep level. You just don’t truly believe it. Human beings, in general, are very powerful, capable, and adaptable. You are a human being filled with the DNA of species that has survived ice-ages, plagues, famines, wars, tragedies, and many other horrific things, yet came out of the other end innovative, resilient, and evolved. Does that not mean that you are fundamentally worthy? You have that in you! You are worthy! Sometimes, you just don’t give yourself enough credit for who you are, and how you manage your life.
Now, let’s look at the way you handle your life. If you are a parent, you are being tested on so many levels. Sometimes it may feel like you are on a mission. You are taking the responsibility for not just yourself, but also for another human being. Nevertheless, you still have the source to share unconditional love. It is important to remember that though you might not always love yourself, notice how much capacity of love you have for another person. Isn’t that itself an amazing thing?
The perception of ‘good enough’
Many of us are resisting the phrase “good enough”. Almost like the phrase means “not good enough”, “not acceptable”, “not as good as I could do it”. However, please note that the phrase “good enough”, contains the word “good”. For many people, “good enough” is pretty close to perfection. This again might be a dangerous trap because, it brings comparison, pressure, and feelings of being unsatisfied all the time.
Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.
It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
An object in motion stays in motion. While human beings often have that underlying sense of not being good enough, you are going to need that momentum to keep you in the right state. Self-care and understanding your worth is essential, but that doesn’t mean it is the end. Well, it is not. You need to try hard and have goals.
One of the ways to keep yourself in a healthy mind frame of being good enough is that you will need to push and challenge yourself, in order to create your own little ‘personal records’. This will make you even more confident. Try and focus on your ‘mission’, and your goals. Focus on validating yourself through the things that you love to do. By doing this kind of activity, you will become a whole person. You will reach your potential, which will lead you to self-actualization. Every single person on this planet has their insecurities, but that is okay. You can still build your confidence and your self-worth despite your insecurities. You can integrate your uncertainties into your life in a more positive way. Rather than letting the doubts to the point where you overly judge yourself, you can use it as a motivator to push yourself to get better and do better, for yourself…
This is only a short passage from one of the chapters of my book, “Grow into your happiness”. To find out more, click on the links below.
With love, always