This is the time of the year when we reflect on the last year, we analyse it, see what we learned and overall, how we felt all year round. For me personally, this year 2022 was definitely the HARDEST year of my life! I have been challenged in ALL aspects of my life. Moreover, it was not easy at all, I cried a lot. Many times, I felt like giving up. I felt broken, confused, lost, damaged…
Challenged by year 2022
The year 2022 brought a lot of challenges for me to deal with. It brought me to the aspects of my life I never wanted to look at again. It brought lots of my shadow to light. I was forced to revisit my old traumas. I had to deal with my childhood traumas, I have had 3 losses in the 2022 year, where one (2 weeks right before Christmas was especially difficult, as my Suzi bear-doggie got very ill and we had to put her to sleep).
Furthermore, I was tested as a CEO of a company and business owner. I was tested as a mother and a wife. I was tested regarding financial management. And I was tested regarding my role in my family of origin. I lost one of the projects I worked on. I was tested even with my own physical health… which never happened before. Before 2022 I was in a hospital twice- when I was giving birth to my two amazing children.
Whereas in 2022 I was in the hospital twice that. I was told I am permanently ill, and for me to survive I would have to be on some tablets for the rest of my life. Then a few days later I was actually told that the previous diagnosis wasn’t right, and I have nothing to worry about. I would love to see my face when doctors were telling me it.
Although, after every single fall where I tried to get up again, a new wave came right at me with a new challenge. I feel like I was crawling through this year rather than walking with my crown on!
Every time I thought “Right this is it, Universe can’t dump anything else on me, I am done”… Yes, you guessed… a new challenge showed up right on the horizon.
Every time I thought “Okay, I passed that test, no more please”, I was tested once again. I wanted to scream “Can someone please give me a break here!?” Omg, I hate roller coasters but 2022 was definitely exactly that for me. My whole perception of my life, myself, the world, and the Universe was challenged. My self-concept was absolutely “Under Review”.
However, every time I thought “I can’t handle anything else”, some “message” or situation happened that helped me cope and stayed in line with myself. It could be a song, one word, a quote, a sentence someone said to me, a gesture, a gift, a feather… But every time a “message” appeared I felt it right in my gut; a warm, calming sensation. I knew I had to trust it. Something inside me knew I had to surrender, and go with the flow… there was no other option.
And even when I was at my lowest, wanting to give up… I didn’t. I couldn’t.
Although I’m glad to see the 2022 year-end, that year probably taught me more about myself than anything else!
My Lessons of 2022
It was a HELL of a lesson but this is what I have learned:
1. Change is an inevitable aspect of our life. The more we will try to fight it, the more painful it gets.
2. Behind every excuse hide fear.
3. Letting go might not be as hard as letting be. Acceptance can come hard at times.
4. Good communication is the key to every single relationship/ interaction with other people.
5. Not everyone deserves your kindness, honesty, and care.
6. Slowing down and taking time for yourself is a MUST not a luxury.
7. Being kind to ourselves and looking after ourselves is our most important responsibility!
8. Setting clear and firm boundaries to protect your space is your own responsibility. If you won’t do it, people will walk over you, but it’s not their fault but yours! So do, put boundaries!
9. Humans are amazing, we can literally build resilience to overcome ANY obstacle that is being thrown at us, in order to heal ourselves.
10. You might not know the answers at first or understand what or why things are happening the way they are, but the Universe never makes mistakes. We got to trust it.
11. Trust doesn’t come easy to people, the fear of getting hurt is stronger than the willingness to be close to someone.
12. Don’t say words you don’t mean or you don’t understand EVER!! They can fire back at you quickly!
13. Love is the greatest healer and powerful force!
14. Good, strong, supportive family is a most beautiful blessing.
15. Gratitude is a bridge between hell and heaven. Finding gratitude is how you get out of the darkest places in your psyche.
16. You must process your traumas, no matter how big or small they are. Otherwise, they will stay in your shadow (part of your psyche) and hunt you.
Even though I had a few amazing and loving people that were very supportive during last year, they were there when I needed to talk, reflect on, advise, or simply just a kind word or a hug. I believe that 2022 was my solo journey. It had to be. It was my own experience that I had to process and embrace it. And It was an intimate journey… it was between my soul and my consciousness. I learned a lot about myself. I addressed aspects of my psyche and soul that I didn’t even know I had.
However now, I feel my soul. I never felt more alive in my life than I am feeling today. I never felt or knew my life purpose more clearly. My heart has never beat stronger than now. I formed a brand-new self-concept. I was never more excited to see a New Year than I did in 2023!
Today, I can honestly say that I feel stronger than ever. I am stronger than ever. I AM… that itself holds magical energy for me, and that is far more than enough… If were to describe how I see 2022 and myself now with one metaphor or phrase it would be: “Rise like a phoenix”.
If you can resonate with this blog and what I wrote here, I want you to know that I see you, I understand you, and I am connecting with you through lifeforce energy. You are not alone. You are an amazing, worthy, good enough, and valuable being! Allow this message to sink deep into your heart.