Let’s look at a common enough topic, which I have observed many of you do when it comes to relationships… especially when it comes to romantic relationships, and that is BECOMING EMOTIANNLY DEPENDENT ON YOUR PARTNER!
Yes, this is a common issue many of you experience. The minute you are in the relationship, that itself and your partner become your whole world and the center of your existence. Moreover, you become emotionally dependent on your partner.
Understanding what means to be emotionally DEPENDENT
What does that mean? It means that you feel like you cannot be happy unless you are with your partner. It means that you don’t feel like doing anything the minute you are separated from your partner. You expect your partner to be there for you 24/7, being supportive and always available for you. You don’t have the sense of Self anymore. All that you can relate to is your partner.
This is a very TOXIC environment to be, not only for yourself but also for your partner. Any relationship isn’t about two people becoming one. But instead, it is about two people staying themselves and yet together, creating a space where two can be two and being comfortable with it.
Mutual respect
Relationships are about trust, communication, honesty, openness, support, and mutual respect for each other’s individualism. If that is lacking, then no healthy relationship can exist.
You can’t depend on your happiness on someone else. More, you cannot put that responsibility onto your partner. Taking responsibility for yourself, your life, and your happiness SOLEY relays on you. And no one else. The same is for your partner. You cannot become emotionally co-depended on each other. Because when you do that, you are taking away a space where both of you have the room to discover, expand, and grow your own SELF.
If you or your partner won’t have room for the SELF, you will start feeling trapped, like you cannot take a deep breath. You will feel at the edge and unhappy. Eventually, you will leave.
The solution
So, if you don’t want your relationship to end and to stay healthy, you got to allow yourself and your partner to have room for hobbies and time for yourself as a self-care. You got to allow your partner to have his/her own time without you being on top of them all the time. Stop using your partner as your emotionally journal. And stop relying on your partner to make you happy.
You should know what makes you happy and make sure you have time to do it. You should know that you are worthy, with or without your partner. Moreover, you should have your own dreams to fulfilled. However, if you don’t know, you should consider psychotherapy and look into your attachment style. You can read about the attachment in one of my other articles.
If, however, you are not interested in psychotherapy, but you want to be happy in your relationship, and you want to change yourself f so you won’t become emotionally attached, I am inviting you to my online courses:
In the fearless soul masterclass, you will learn about your attachment, and how to change it, how to become more secure and confident in yourself.
In the loving relationship, you will learn all about relationships and how to create a healthy and loving relationship.
With love,
Sylwia Kuchenna